Fall is the season for love under laugh and dying leaves
by Nhelio
Summary: Sometimes, when we learned to trust, life comes back to knock us down again, because being happy is not part of human's rights. Gift for Haru ! /!\ Death


Hey! It's me again, just to say that this text is for Haru ( ItsNosaka_ on Twitter), for his SS late gift actually, but I also was thinking to make something like this  
Haru, I hope that you'll like it!  
The other (and you too) I hope that you're all doing well and that your day is/was good!  
Take care and read well!

Let's list the trigger warning before!  
 **Death, Suicide, Accident, Alcohol, Pills, Hospital, Graveyard, mention of sex**  
And I'm done, I think!

* * *

"Fall" Such a strange name for a season right?  
It looks like an order. An order for the leaves to join the floor during their last sight, for the sun to disappear faster and faster, to let the shadows reign, to let the light rests. And also for Ibuki's tears to roll down his checks, in his dark smoking, watching the pale corpse lying on this woody box.  
Why wasn't called it autumn!  
He balled his fists, sobbing.

"It's time Ibuki, let him go.",

As always, the words of Kirino hurt. At least some things would never change, and the hatred of Kirino would be part of those things. He never understood why his boyfriend's best friend hated him so much, but he wasn't like when he was with the others when he was with him. He was, ruder, and cold as ice. As if he was blaming the white-haired for a mistake that he wasn't able to guess.

"Hey, Munemasa, come here, let's go."

It was Kariya who talked, the boyfriend of Ranmaru, walking away to go again by the side of the one he loved, looking at Ibuki, the eyes filled with a pity that boy had seen a billion of times during the last weeks.  
He kneeled down, watching a very last time the face of the one he loved, letting a part of his heart with him before finally reaching the outside.  
He made a few steps before the gust of wind, and he was so weak that he stumbled and fell against the wall behind him, his vision was just a confused blur, a mix of tears and dizziness. His world was falling apart, the colors faded long ago, but every day reminded him how much he missed the black and white boy in his life.

This boy who just fell.

* * *

[A week after, TenKyo pov]

Days have passed since Shindo's death, but Tenma was still stuck in his bed, in the arms of Tsurugi. He slept all day, and the whole night, and the day before. He couldn't face the absence of the musician, it was too much for him. And what if he died too, himself, or Kyousuke? After all, nobody was protected from death, and both of them could die, at any time. Death strikes without warning sign.

"You won't leave my right ?"

It was the… Tsurugi had stopped counting the number of times he asked, it was better, for both of us.

"No Matsukaze, I told you, and I'll tell you once again, I'll stay with you, as long as we can stay together."

It hurt, it did hurt. Why couldn't he try to be a little more confident, Tsurugi too was hurt, deep down inside, and he was already missing this god damned annoying golden boy. They should be playing soccer with Ibuki and Tenma, as every Sunday morning, not about to cry in a bed, held too tight by the trembling body of his boyfriend, listening to a Three Days Grace album.  
The last gift of Shindo, for Tsurugi's birthday, months ago.

* * *

[Days ago, Shindo PoV]

Shindo looked at the paper, already marked by his own tears. His phone was on the floor, after an umpteenth row with his boyfriend. He loved Ibuki, so much, but he couldn't take it anymore, his partner was a lovely selfish bastard.  
He struck the wall, with a smirk when he heard his wrist crack, louder than the song playing on the stereo of his bedroom that he was crying.

"How can nothing ever lasts  
It goes from good to bad to worse so fast  
Tell me why!  
Does everything that I love get taken away?  
From me!"

For the musician, this song was just... Him.  
His father who put him out after his coming out, the choice he had to make between soccer and piano, his best friend who became more and more colder and distant with the time, and his fucking relationship with Ibuki that they were destroying.  
His whole life fell apart long ago, but until now, he always thought that he was able to make something better of these broken pieces of happiness.

Shindo closed his wet eyes, sobbing a bit, letting the music enter into him.

"I don't belong here.  
Not in this atmosphere."

What if he died, nobody would regret him right? He was just a stupid rich boy who fell from his soft mattress made of bills, right on the cold concrete of the reality. And he never supported the crash.

When Ibuki returned home, the day after, he just found the cold body of the one he loved, with meds boxes and alcohol, rocked by the voice of Matt Walst in his last lullaby. With no letter, no word, no explanation, nothing. Just a broken phone and the red knuckles of Takuto saying that it was his fault.

* * *

[Present Matatagi PoV]

Hayato was moaning in his bedroom, fantasizing, watching something not really for kids, when the screen of his phone switched for the contact of Ibuki, calling him.  
In any other time, he would have let it ring, eyes closed, but not now. One of his only friends needed him, and, with the situation, he could not abandon him, not for his own selfishness.

"Ibuki?"

His voice was marked by his irritation, but he was always like this so, it was not a problem for Ibuki, almost crying in his bed, he did not even pay attention about it anyway.

"That's my fault, right? I mean... Shindo's su... Death"

Matatagi sighted, he expected the question. His friend was feeling way too much guilty. In any other case, he would have accused the other, and they would have been swearing on them all night long, as the two salty guys that they were. But not there. And it was a shock for the lonely boy, to see him like that.

"No... That's not your fault, really. Look, I was with my ex when I failed my own attempt, and even if I loved him, even if he was a perfect boyfriend, there was nothing to do to save me.  
It's not your fault but his choice, don't blame you for this. I know that you yelled at him for your last conversation, but, fuck! You could not know!"

The dark-haired boy finished, almost shouting at his phone, thinking that it was dumb because Ibuki would not hear him better, but still. He was tired, and frustrated, and this conversation was too personal for him. He listened to the silence, Ibuki had nothing to add there, and not the strength too. He just sniffled and blew his nose, before thanking his friend, leaving him alone.

Matatagi rang off, sighing. With this, he wasn't in the mood to finish what he was doing.  
He put his shirt on and roll in his bed, launching a Candy Crush game, mumbling a song he heard... Long ago.

* * *

[Present Kyosuke PoV]

Tsurugi looked at his boyfriend, asleep in his arms. He sighed, everything, literally everything, was so tiring. A tear rolled down on his check. Then a second.  
With Tenma sleeping, none would see him cry.

The liquid burnt his eyes, slowly flowing on his checks while he was biting his lips. He couldn't sob. If he made noises, he would wake Tenma up, and Kyousuke didn't want it.  
For once, the brown-haired boy was resting, and not going through another crisis, and, for the taller one, it was comforting, to have a second just for him. For him, and not this fucking cellphone who started to ring on the bedside table. But it was the ring tone he put for his brother, so he had to pick up, and wash the tears away from his throat, Yuuichi didn't have to see how weak his little brother was.

He freed his arm from Matsukaze's to sat down in the bed, ignoring his groan, taking his phone.

"Yuuichi ?"

"Hey, Kyosuke... It was just... You know, to ask you to come to see me, if you want of course! The last time you came was more than a week ago, and I kinda miss you.  
And, you know, I was... hum... Kinda wondering how you were doing, with... everything around those days..."

In his own bed, the little brother sighed, he didn't want to lie, but how to say that he was totally drowned because of this, stuck between his own sadness and Tenma's insecurities.

"I am... doing well, as fine as I'm able to if I have to be honest.  
But well, lemme take my vest and I'll join you! At your apartment, or do you want us to take a walk in the park together ?"

Behind Tsurugi, Matsukaze was rubbing his tired eyes filled with last pieces of a dream, his sleepy voice letting go a "Take care of yourself if you're going" before being muted by the pillow.  
The navy-blue boy kissed Tenma's neck with a sweet smile, promising him that he would, and that he loved him, leaving him alone.

* * *

[A few hours later Tenma PoV]

Tenma groaned, fucking awakening in the middle of the night! He rolled in the bed to get closer to his b... to the blanket.  
Wait, where the hell was Tsurugi ?!

Tenma felt his heart beating faster, and the anxiety took him at the throat, and if he was with someone else... and if something happened to him on the road. Scooters were dangerous!  
The browned-haired boy breathed, slowly. He needed to get tranquilizer, now.

A few minutes after, his calm back and his demons out, he took his phone, to check, if there were any pieces of information about where the one he loved could be. Seeing first a text from Yuuichi was comforting, reading in it that his life was threatened wasn't.

He jumped in his clothes, totally freaking out. His head was counting catastrophic scenarios, his heart was playing chaotic music, his throat was saying that it was cold and that running was painful by this temperature, but him, he was saying that he lost enough, and that they will survive until the next summer. Both of them.

And he said it out loud when he arrived in Tsurugi's hospital room, taking his hand in his own, breathing heavily.

He swore. No one else would fall this autumn.

* * *

Hey, hope I didn't killed you (or hope that I did, for you, Haru)  
I'm sorry for the rythm of the text, I'm not proud of it, but please, tell me if you like it !

Love u, Nhelio


End file.
